Single? Raise your hand. Taken? Raise your hand. Who believes in forever? Raise your hand. What’s your preference, and what’s your pronoun?
The dating “journey” has transitioned to a far more complex existence in our society. We favor the ones that are close to our preference and sometimes, we still end up with the wrong choice, wrong judgment, and wrong decision. Just as when we thought we have found the one, we only find ourselves waking up in dismay.
I live in New York and I am friendly (chuckle) which goes without saying I have a lot of friends (chuckle). Don’t judge me, I just happen to meet a lot of people from all walks of life… and yes, this is with permission. I guess some of them just can’t afford to stay quiet when they are around me. Let me elaborate further. Opinionated people will always have something to say. Topping it off is the topic of online dating which I couldn’t agree more. The most common conclusion? It’s complicated. Don’t worry, somewhere in this hodge-podge of love affairs, some good ones, and indeed “success stories”…. just keep reading. These stories don’t necessarily apply to New York (online) dating.
Craig, 26, a tech guy, tried all the apps out there in the universe, even the most desperate meet-ups. A century into his search, his company sent him to Costa Rica, met a beautiful lady, married the b*tch (his word), took her to America, then disappeared. Well, that was just the shortcut. He was heartbroken, I mean, who wouldn’t be right? I heard the ex got to keep the hamster.
Lolita, 31, a cashier at one of New York City’s shopping malls, met Dustin, a nurse, on Bumble. Obviously, as per Bumble, Lolita sent the first “Hi, Hello”. Having met her four times, I could tell she’s one of those who go to bed at 3 in the morning, the Devil Hour, as they say, then wakes up at 7:45 a.m, and starts giving herself some “attitude”, (yes, she lives by herself), all for lack of sleep, and what does she do at night? You guessed it right, Tiktok and Facebook! Well, back to Dustin, he’s bisexual, and Lolita is straight. To make the story short, there was no honesty in the relationship. After two years, they broke up. I heard Dustin is with his long-time friend, Justin (not a typo error, J and D), who Lolita thought was just a “friend”. L and D are no longer friends.
Next comes Brian, 43, this tall dude with a huge “beauty mark”, a mole, in the middle of his forehead. He thinks it’s his “third eye”, making him see through each and every woman he meets. Before anything even starts, his third eye “puts out the fire”, and did I mention he’s also a fireman? Well, he met this Asian girl, who was recently single at that time, on Hinge. Little did he know that this girl was moving to the West Coast. You guessed it right, she got back with her ex. Three dates, and the deceit, and the goodbye. I hope he finally figured out what that existence on his forehead really means.
Marie, 34, of Malaysian background, met this chef named Aaron from Tinder. She calls him Aaron the Macaron, soft-spoken; however barely talks, and walks, and moves slow. Hence, the Macaron for being “soft”. One time, they were on the train heading to Philadelphia (Centralia…. kidding! They say, it’s the inspiration for the movie Silent Hill). She confronted him as to why he doesn’t reach out to her, never initiates dates, doesn’t call her, check on her, even with simple things like saying good morning to her. He was quiet, and after about a minute of silence, he finally admitted that when he was on tinder that day they matched, he was actually on the same train that they were on that day, on his way to see his girlfriend (actually an ex, he was just in denial), who started seeing her colleague. Marie didn’t say anything, got off the next stop, and boy oh boy, they were just total opposites. He’s from “Silent” Hill, and she’s from Disneyland. Anyway, heartbroken, he called her and told her he’ll never get involved with anyone ever again, and he’s happy with the way he lives his life. He tried Tinder again, and yes, only for one-night stands.
Then, comes Ryan, 44, who I ended up being good friends with. He met Lexie from Ok Cupid. They dated for four years, got engaged, and the events that transpired within those four years were heaven and hell. One “hell” moment, a friend of Ryan’s saw Lexie’s profile on Ok Cupid. All along, Lexie had been cheating on Ryan. Every now and then, Ryan and I would go out on friendly dates. Most times, he’ll let me swipe for him.
Another cute guy named Brad (most of the Brads I met are handsome). He used to be my patient when I was working at an outpatient Physical Therapy clinic at Madison Avenue. He came for a torn labrum. It was so hard to compose my flirtatious side, but I made it. That aside, we also became friends. Three sessions later, I found out that he’s actually gay and dating Bryan, a real estate broker who lives in Westchester. They met through Grindr. Bryan owns a boat and well, “when the cat is away, the mouse will play” and that’s exactly what Bryan had been doing. He would take different women on his boat for some leisure sailing and when Brad found out, he broke up with him. It wasn’t about Bryan cheating on him, but Brad thought that Bryan’s straight. Over time, they ironed all the kinks, and have been together for three years.
Online Dating has by far, became the go-to for most single individuals (and the not so single ones). These are just examples of how relationships start online, and although most of the people I met never really had a good experience doing online dating, there are still a few that ended up as successful relationships. To be honest, I only know of two, ugh! I have this list of what people found out about people they have met online.
*Dennis met Stacey on Bumble. He is straight and she is bisexual. Two good people but not meant to be.
*Gordon met Raja on Zoosk. The problem was, Raja was still married. Gordon ran away very very fast.
*Daniel started a relationship with Sophia, yet Daniel wasn’t ready for “family life”. He had to let her go. They met on Match.
*Sharon met Hudson through Plenty Of Fish, and he literally lived up to it. He never stopped fishing. Sharon found out when she created a fake account after months of sleepless nights, her suspicions keeping her up. Indeed, he got caught.
*Courtney went out on a date with Dave. She later found out through Facebook that he’s actually dating this girl who, according to her, literally looks like her. She disappeared on him forever.
*Menchie was in a relationship with Steve for 2 years, and guess what, she never had any idea that Steve had been doing online dating in search of women who were into BDSM.
*Doug met Xaxier on Grindr. Three dates later, he found out that Xavier still enjoys “fencing” (quoted from Doug, lol) with other dudes from Grindr. For the many times I asked how he found out, he would only send me those fencing emojis lol
*Nick was actually married to Christa for a year. “Was”, yes, they were married until that day when Christa’s 10-year-old daughter saw her mom swiping right and left on, according to her, “maybe a doctor’s appointment, sort of app, or maybe looking for someone to fix the sprinklers”. He knew for a while.
Just a list of unfortunate people looking for love. Indeed, the apps have become a marketplace for everyone vying for the most coveted titles, “Girlfriend”, “Boyfriend”, “Partner”, “Husband”, “Wife”. For some of those I met, their most hated words are ghosting, cheating, and non-committal. Mine so far is “fencing” lol
At the end of the day, just be wise, know your worth, and never let anyone dull your sparkle. If they come back, don’t give them another chance! They are human, and so are you. Some people just want to have fun, let them.
Happy “searching” everyone and good luck.